Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Preschool and Kaitlyn update

Well Kaitlyn started preschool back around Labor day.  Life has been pretty sucky ever since.  See these pictures above from her first day?!?  She was SO excited.  She even did great the first day.  No crying and was excited to go back.  Then on the second day I get a call that she is very upset.  It is a homeschool preschool group of 6 moms and we each take turns teaching every 6 weeks.  Then everything went downhill after that.  She screams bloody murder getting dropped off at Nursery at church, as well as while she is at preschool.  It is literally driving me crazy.  I am just so frustrated.  I really don't know what to do.  If she doesn't start getting better soon at preschool, then I am going to have to drop out.  Not because I have a problem with her crying, but just b/c I don't think it's fair to the other moms to have to deal with her and try and teach the other kids at the same time.  Nursery is horrible as well.  For a while the leaders always brought her to me when she cried.  But I really feel that is making it worse.  It just teaches her that every time she cries she gets what she wants.  So I have begged them to let her stay in the whole time.  Same with preschool.  I just feel guilty.  B/c its not like I pay any of these people.  If I was paying for a real preschool then I wouldn't care in the least. 

This is definitely something she is just going to need to outgrow, but until who knows when that will be I am at my wits end.  She has also been WAY more whiny and cries all the time at home as well.  I am just at a loss.  I told Justin the other day that she is truly my greatest challenge here on earth.  I feel so guilty saying something like that about my own daughter who I love to death, but who also knows every button of mine to push.  I just don't know how to work with her.  She literally whines or cries about the littlest things ALL day long.  Most mornings her crying starts the second she wakes up.  I am just stressed out.  This semester has been super busy for Justin so once he is home from work, he is doing school projects and meetings all night so I am stuck with the kids all night as well.  I just count down the hours until bedtime every day.  I've also been super busy with Shea homes work as well so I'm sure that is not helping my sanity.  Luckily Brayden is still the most perfect baby.  He rarely cries and is the sweetest, most laid back baby ever.  If he was like she was, then I really wouldn't know what to do.  I feel bad for him though b/c I feel like he is always second in attention to her.  Although I think a lot of Kaitlyn's whining, etc at least at home is stemming from wanting more attention from seeing me with Brayden.  She has started regressing in a lot of things trying to "act more like a baby" such as wanting me to help her potty, wanting me to feed her, etc.  I really need to try and devote more one on one time with her to try and see if it will get better.  I just feel like such a horrible mom complaing like this.  She whines and cries so much that I just get so frustrated that I feel like I am always yelling at her or sending her to time out.  I just don't know what else to do.  We go to playgroup most weeks and she won't even really play with kids there either even while I'm there.  She only has one real friend and that is our friend's son Brigham who we see a few times a month.  She loves him.  Everyone else, she gets nervous around and clings to me. 

Now after my complete vent about her bad qualities, I will say that she is a very sweet child.  She really does love Brayden so much and takes such good care of him.  She is always protective of him and really watches out for him.  She is also very smart.  She picks up on things so quick and loves to learn.  Most days she begs me to study flashcards we have.  She is also a pretty good eater and sleeper so at least I don't have to deal with those battles.  Nap time, yeah, but I figure that is most any kid.  She also just truely loves her family.  She gets so excited spending time with family. 

I feel I must stress after this post that I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!  She has definitely never been the typical child, ever since she was 2 weeks old, but I am just praying for the day it gets easier.  Until then you can find me slowly losing my sanity.  Day by day.

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